[yesterday i saw the sun shining]

[wherever you are i hope you're happy now]

[她用眼睛暗示我，叫我别往下说了]

"This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again"

"不做考虑也没半点犹豫
我就说了这一句　我等你
你眼中闪过了一些讶异
更多的是怀疑　所以你可以离去"

[moon is a harsh mistress]

"No, no, no, please don't worry, please don't take it too serious!", she said with a soft, yet determined voice. "Once this song is over, it won't bother me anymore. This feeling has once been, and listening to this brings back some of these memories. But no worries - they're old and long gone. It's nothing, really. Ok?"

[when I heard the news, my heart fell on the floor]

[and if not to be forgiven then at least to be heard]

"Why do I always need to need you when you're fleeing?
Where do you go when I'm around?
What have I done, what have I lost that's so defeating?
And have the nerve to wear the crown."

"Cause in my head there’s a greyhound station
from where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
where they’re far more suited than here"

"More and more I find myself drawn to points of transition. airports, bus stations, train terminals. For those stepping into new soil, the sense of unknown, the unmistakable mark of a new, fresh beginning (as I scribbled in my journal that day before embarking on my south american journey: all will be asked of you. And I think that did come true), and for those who are on their weary way home, the sense of heavy reflection. What has gone on, what has changed. The accumulated impressions, the flashing memories remain to be sorted, and I find they loop and fall into place easier in the bustle of these places. On the long way home, you suddenly find the context of all that has gone on... everything is en fin, the credits are rolling and you can say with near certainty-- (finality, I believe, is reserved for those with little self-doubts, of which I am not usually a member)--whether you enjoyed the ride."

"མིག་དང་གྲོད་པ་གཉིས་ལ་ཁེངས་རྒྱུ་མེད་།།
Eyes and stomach never experience satsfaction"
[tibetan proverb]

“What's wrong?
Nothing
Are you sure nothing's wrong?
Yeah
But you're sad about something
Yeah
So tell me what
I don't know. I can't tell you”

"As the express train passes the local
It moves by just like a paper boat
Although it weighs a million pounds
I swear it almost seems to float
And as we pass by each other
Our heads all full of bother
We can't look, we can't stop
We can't think, we can't stop
Because we're stuck in our own paths
And it's the way it always lasts
But i need something more from you"

”你的笑在我怀中
都比从前暖的多"

[比从前乱得多]

[so much past in my present]

"沒有吃過人的孩子，或者還有？
救救孩子……"

[another dance without an end]

"These places, they don't make me happy
and this food, no, it still don't make me full
and the moon again and again makes me sad for the love that we had
and these shows that I watch in the daytime
and these pages that I read in the night
and this sleep, no it brings no relaxation
and these girls that I see, well, they just remind me...
and these smells, they all have some connotation
these dark corners all carry some history
this sport, no it doesn't calm me down
and these words, writing just this cannot bring any relief"

"See those headlights coming towards us?
That's someone going back.
To a town they said they'd never,
Yeah, they swore it on their life"

"so come on kid
look at what you did
I don't know if you meant it
but you did yourself in
and I was even having a good day
when I'd found out we lost you"

"当然我们都可能会再犯错
但这次一定更容易就渡过"

"路一定要蜿蜒直到这个路口
才最适合再重逢"

"你的眼和我的手都比从前柔软许多，
更懂面对，更懂紧握"

"Now that I have settled into the flow of things, all I want--more than anything else--is to be good. Not only in action, but in thoughts. To carry kindness & empathy with me wherever I go. to give it to whomever I meet. I know too well the feeling of being all churned up on the inside, and the thoughts--bad ones--form a black sinking hole.
(...)
And all those things which bring me confusion--feelings, desires, whatever--maybe they are substance-less, light as can be. I just get weighed down by them for no good reason. It is not something I want to focus on necessarily, for I know it is a fruitless endeavor 9 times out of 10. I want to grab on to less and just appreciate more, you know?"

"But you can't break out of a circle
That you never knew you were in"

"and even fancy things
they finally lost their charm
wine and diamond rings
they never get you anymore
you're sleeping again
alone
'cause nobody loves you"

[i have said enough]

[some things just seem to never change]

"I'm adding something new to the mixture
So there's a different hue to your picture
A different ending to this fairy tale
With no sunset into which we sail"

"Can you imagine how astonished the Nepali's would be if
they knew that what they were exporting in these years was really
loveliness?"

“I feel far away from you. So what else is new?
The moon is closer to the sun than I am to anyone.”

"If I only knew the answer
I wouldn't be bothering you
And If all our days are numbered
Then why do I keep counting"

"He was simultaneously modest and arrogant.
Deeply self-centered, he nevertheless treated those around
him with great kindness and warmth. Which is why most
people liked him. Young, handsome and good on his horn, he
stood out like a crow on a snowy day wherever he went."

"I used up your compassion, so I come to make a trade
You can hate me but just love me in return
And if I know where to find you, I'll stay out of your way
I won't come beg to borrow all the happiness you earned
I'll just slide back down to the bottom
While you make your place in the hills"

[you'll have me back, but it's gonna take a week]

[and I didn't even get the coffee...]

"Tell me,
告诉我
who do you love the most?
你最喜欢的女人是哪一位？
Once, a woman asked me this question.
以前也有人这样问过我
But I didn't answer.
但是我没有回答"

"The day I left, the almanac had this to say,
那天黄历上写着
"The Travel Star advances.
Fire Conquers Gold. Fortune lies West."
驿马动，火逼金行，大利西方"

[this time tomorrow]

"This time tomorrow where will we be
On a spaceship somewhere sailing across an empty sea
This time tomorrow what will we know
Well we still be here watching an in-flight movie show
I'll leave the sun behind me and watch the clouds as they sadly pass me by
Seven miles below ma I can see the world and it ain't so big at all
This time tomorrow what will we see
Field full of houses, endless rows of crowded streets
I don't where I'm going, I don't want to see
I feel the world below me looking up at me
Leave the sun behind me, and watch the clouds as they sadly pass me by
And I'm in perpetual motion and the world below doesn't matter much to me
This time tomorrow where will we be
On a spaceship somewhere sailing across any empty sea
This time tomorrow, this time tomorrow"

"I walk like you guide me, my eyes
Are shut like I'm blind
Turn to you and listening and tryin'
To be in your mind
There's a feeling that I get
When I look to the west
'Bout having all the answers"

"My sugar sweet is so attainable
This behaviour so unexplainable
The days just slip and slide
Like they always did
The trouble is my head
Won't let me forget

I took one last good look around
So many unusual sounds
I gotta get my feet on the ground"

[you belong to me]

"And if this is ever meant to end
Then I hope it ends where it began"

[kept walking, cause that's what Mark said]

[Problems are solvable, problems are inevitable.]

"We have seen the extraordinary beauty of nature,
ruins of a once flourishing
with exquisite murals in a setting I saw never before.
We have seen that mountain,
but what above all stays in my memory is
the seemingly carefree generosity,
the readiness to help and
the lack of complexity
of the these people.

They are worthy to live in this land"

"There's a plane and I am flying
There's a mountain waiting for me
Oh these years have been so trying

Help me get down,
I can make it,
Help me get down"

"(...) a safety i need now at this point in my life. and a safety i will find, for sure. when you read properly, with the self held in abeyance, the written things that trigger love in you become memories, and when memory comes out of love (the love of another's world, another's words) rather than experience you understand a little more clearly the nature of the emptiness of all phenomena and the unity of emptiness and compassion, openness and otherness."
[shenyen]

"I was through with getting caught up in other people's
messes. I'd already dug a hole in the backyard and buried
everything that needed to be buried in it. Nobody could ever
dig it up again.
'I'm sorry,' I said.
'You don't like me, do you?' she suddenly said.
I had no idea what to say. I didn't particularly dislike her. I
had no impresion of her at all. And it's hard to have a bad
impression of somebody you have no impression of.
'I'm sorry,' I said again, 'but I'm cooking spaghetti right
now.'"

[我们这里还有鱼]

[exitlude]

"We hope you enjoyed your stay
It’s good to have you with us, even if it’s just for the day
We hope you enjoyed your stay
Outside the sun is shining, seems like heaven ain't far away"

"看过碎浪看过夕阳
看过被风化的山墙
永久从未留下
一样天真一样鲁莽
一样又敞开了心房
似乎还不够傻"

"I used to think some words were so important.
以前我以为那句话很重要
once spoken they'd last a lifetime.
因为我觉得有些话说出来就是一生一世
But looking back,
现在想一想
I realized it makes no difference.
说不说也没有什么分别
Everything changes.
有些事会变得"

[there's nothing that the road cannot heal]

"The more you try to forget
你越想知道自己是不是忘记的时候
the better you'll remember.
你反而记得清楚
People say
我曾经听人说过
when you can't have what you want,
当你不能够再拥有
the best you can do is not to forget.
你唯一可以做的
就是令自己不要忘记"

"How does Hongkong look upside down?
不知道倒转的香港是什么样子"

"I learned the best way to avoid rejection
我知道要想不被人拒绝
is to reject others first.
最好的方法是先拒绝别人
This is why
因为这个原因　
I've never returned home.
我再也没有回去
It wasn't bad there.
其实那边也不错
But what have I to go back for?
可惜已经不能回头"

[winning the battle but losing the war]

"She said the root of man's problems
她说人最大的烦恼
is memory
就是记性太好
Without a past,
如果什么都可以忘掉
every day would be a new beginning.
以后的每一天
将会是一个新的开始
Wouldn't that be great?
那你说这有多开心"

[I live in a lovely valley,
but the heights are gone forever.
There are no more frightful deserts
and I now longer leap into the fire
I'm afraid that I will get burned.
Sanity is pleasant, calm,
but there is no greatness,
no true joy,
nor the awful sorrow
that slashes the heart.]

"no human can paint this kind of beauty"
[Thai airways ad slogan]

"You can kill me, you can do that,
but you cannot judge me
Cause it's judgement that defeats us"

[有一些事情总会不断循环]

[I dreamed of you last night, but it's okay, cause it wasn't real]

"Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
Relax, said the night man,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
But you can never leave!"

[...cause we were the first to come and the last to go]

"I'm a connoisseur of roads.
Been tasting roads my whole life.
This road
will never end.
It probably goes
all around
the world."

[他这次旅游最终的目的地是...]

"Nothing at all, in my head, to say to you
Only the beat of the train I'm on
Nothing I've learned all my life on the way to you
One day our love was over and gone
It's so many miles and so long since I've met you
Don't even know what I'll say when I get to you
But suddenly now, I know where I belong
It's many hundred miles and it won't be long

What will I do if there's someone there with you
Maybe someone you've always known
How do I know I can come and give to you
Love with no warning and find you alone"

[...and in the end it all comes very different from what expected... but hell, some fine food did we have!]

"早点儿回来“, she said

"你许诺的那天
永远不会走
因为太美好
却也永远不会来"

[我已经相信有些人我永远不必等]

[I think tonight I'll take the long way home]

"第一：我要你！第二：我也要你的心!", she said and frowned while taking a deep sip of beer out of her small glass, still holding that piece of duck neck in her other hand.

[losing the battle, but winning the war]

[回丽江吧!]

[where to start finishing?]

"A year now and nothing much has changed
Holed up in a motel in El Paso
This was meant to be my great escape
I got lost along the way
Amongst free HBO and take out

So is this my destiny?
From starlight into eternity
The gods must be laughing down at me
Ha ha ha

Are these the best tales I can spin?
A boy waiting to begin
A man of no memoirs
What have I done?
What have I done?

And you're young and you're gonna be someone
And you're old and you're ashamed of what you've become
Well take a look around you
You're preaching to the choir
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

Tell me darling, what have I done?"

[heat beat 'n treat]

[i've come home]

[...但是不那么容易]

[我们都累了
我们一起走了那么久]

[no more mediocrity]

"我还能怎么做 -
怎么做都是错
我还能够怎么说 -
怎么说都是错"

"We also have to learn to forget music," he added. "Otherwise we become addicted to the past."

[the best is yet to come]

[honey for my soul, man]

"I thought I'd give you my number. You never know when it might come in handy. Maybe you'll need bailout money if you happen to land in prison in China. Or maybe a particularly lousy post-breakup night when you don't know who to call. Or if you just want to say hi. That is fine too. Anyway, I can't promise that I am a good talker on the phone, but I can surely listen."

"What I know is,
但是我可以很肯定
if I want to find her
如果我想见她的时候
...I know where I can find her
起码我知道在那里可以找到"

"You're not the only one
with mixed emotions
You're not the only ship
adrift on this ocean"

"And I could be another fool or an exception to the rule
You tell me the morning after"

[我们都望了这条路走了多久]

"Now I am tired
It just made me tired
Let's build ourselves a fire

You know I am a liar
Nobody helps a liar"

"I want to send her a Christmas card
我想写张圣诞节卡给她
but it turns into a long letter
谁知道越写越长
Apart from saying sorry, I tell her
除了对不起之外我还说了
things she's been wanting to know.
她一直想知道而又不敢问的事
In the end I say...
记得最后的一句是这样写...
I hope she treats me as a friend
我希望她可以当我是朋友
and gives me a chance to start over."
亦希望给我说一句给我从头开始

[怎么你会变这样?]

"It turns out that lonely people are all the same
原来寂寞的时候...
所有人都是一样"

"And I try not to worry,
but you've got me terrified.
It's like you're in some kind of hurry
to say goodbye."

”And the news reports on the radio
Said it was getting worse
As the ocean air fanned the flames
But I couldn't think
Of anywhere I would have rather been
To watch it all burn away“

“我又不是立刻走
I am not leaving immediately...
又不是不回来
nor will I never come back”

[the day has just started now]

[...but always it was a dance without an end...]

"Our love is dead but without limit
Like the surface of the moon
Or the land between here and the mountains
It is not these hiding places that have kept us innocent
But the way you taught me to just let it all go back

But I'm not gonna bless you with such compliments
Some degrading song of praise
Like the kind that converted you to me so long ago
Because the truth is that gossip's as good as gospel in this town
You can save face but you won't ever save your soul
And that's a fact

But please return, return
To the person that you were, and
I will do the same
'Cause it's too hard to belong
to someone who is gone
My compass spins, the wilderness remains"

"I'm gonna be leavin'
I'm gonna be leavin' soon, this I know
I'm gonna be leavin' soon where the water tastes like moonshine
Leavin' soon, this I know
Don't you miss me then
Don't you miss me when I go
Don't you miss me then, just sleep my lady friend
and wait 'til I come home"

"So baby,
times gettin' a little crazy

I've been gettin' a little lazy
waitin' on you to come save me

I can see that your angry
by the way that you treat me
Hopefully you don't leave me
wanna take you with me"

[under the heat of the southwest sun]

[i am a visitor here, i am not permanent]

"There is something a bit bittersweet with memories like that..when you had felt yourself so close that you could almost catch the fragrance of her hair or feel the hot pulse through his skin.

But maybe that's just the flaw in the design. Maybe we are doomed to walk these halls of memory, until these very grooves are worn to a translucent sliver."

"In the midst
of this flow, I'm aware of myself as one tiny piece in the
natural phenomenon, like the water in the river that flows
under the bridge toward the sea."

[I wasn't ready to go, I'm never ready to go]

"I finally reach the end. Strangely, I have no feeling of
accomplishment. The only thing I feel is utter relief
that I don't have to run anymore."

"I think certain types of processes don't allow for any
variation. If you have to be part of that process, all you
can do is transform - or perhaps distort - yourself
through that persistent repetition, and make that pro-
cess a part of your own personality."

[时光一去不复返，留给我们的只有记忆]

"This is my body, with all its limits and quirks. Just as
with my face, even if I don't like it it's the only one I get,
so I've got to make it do."

"I can't do the talk, like the talk on the TV
And I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be
I can't do everything, but I'd do anything for you
I can't do anything except be in love with you
And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beat, and the bad company
And all I do is kiss you, through the bars of a rhyme
Juliet, I'd do the stars with you any time"

[after all, it was our home for 9 months, no? been with us through the good times, the bad and the ugly. i mean... well, i mean.]

[You have to wait until tomorrow to find out what tomorrow will bring.]

"I was teased by your blouse
Spit out by your mouth
I was loud by your lowered
Seminary sold

Tear on tail on
Take all on the wind on
The soft bloody nose
Sign another floor..."

[so many foreign worlds, so relatively fucked, so ready for us, so ready for us]

"Travelling north, travelling north to find you
Train wheels beating, the wind in my eyes
Don't even know what I'll find when I get to you
Call out your name love, don't be surprised

It's so many miles and so long since I've left you
Don't even know what I'll find when I get to you
But suddenly now, I know where I belong
It's many hundred miles and it won't be long"

"In the hours washed with coffee and too little sleep, I seemed to think about you particularly much. It is mot unlike a modern dilemma of unceasing self-consciousness (yet surely one forever in existent); in the sense that I am absolutely conscious of the fact that I am most likely romanticizing you. Does my awareness of the fact abate my doing so? Absolutely not. It is helpless against the force of my imagination."

"I was full by your count
I was lost but your fool
Was a long visit wrong?
Say you are the only

So many foreign worlds
(So relatively fucked)
So ready for us
So ready for us"

"Uh, I'm gonna tear down the wall
I may not be here when you call
So best be givin' me your all."

"Oh baby,
I've been told I'm goin' crazy.
Oh baby,
I can't be held down.
Oh baby,
Somehow I'm keeping it steady.
Oh baby,
I'm tearing up this town."

"I was in love with the world with the world
through the eyes of a girl.
But then she died
the morning after"

“who made you happy last night?
i dont know his name, but christ can he fight
as i fell, he told me you had a light
a light that shone inside you”

[pain is inevitable. suffering is optional]

"I had been rejected,
but I was still in love.
And so I decided to start over."

[i could see it coming and I was saying it]

[i had been here before, she said]

"And sometimes I'm a travel man
But tonight this engine's failing"

"cause i don't care where you've been
and I don't care what you've seen
we're the ones who still believe
and we're looking for a page
in that lifeless book of hope
where a dream might help you cope
with the Bushes and the bombs
are tranquilized"

I got this feeling that they're gonna break down the door
I got this feeling they they're gonna come back for more
See I was thinking that I lost my mind
But it's been getting to me all this time
And it don't stop dragging me down

Silently reflection turns my world to stone
Patiently correction leaves us all alone
And sometimes I'm a travel man
But tonight this engine's failing

"Was it so long ago?
You asked me to stay behind.
You said I didn't care at all.

Was it so long ago?
I asked you to stay beside me all through the years.

The death of this mess finally came around
with no relief this year.
Congratulations you just fucking disappeared."

[not far baby!]

[雨下整夜]

[What I can't understand is why you would want to give the impression of a young lost soul ]

"I've got this energy beneath my feet
like something underground's gonna come up and carry me,
I've got this sentimental heart that beats
but I don't really mind that it's starting to get to me.
Now..."Why do you waste my time?"
Is the answer to the question on your mind
And I'm sick of all my judges
so scared of what they'll find
But I know that I can make it
As long as somebody takes me home,
every now and then..."

“Maybe the hurdle of writing is simply putting down the first sentence. After that-- it flows, it teems over, and the job is half done. I write for those moments when you don't have do so much laborious thinking and analyzing and dissecting, yet somehow naturally words fall into order, and there is a rhythm that keeps on. Do you know what I am speaking of?”

[Your heart is not able
and your prayers, they're not stable]

［忘不掉］

[放不下，忘不掉］

[sorry for wasting your time]

[she said it rains a lot here]

"I pity the poor immigrant
Whose strength is spent in vain,
Whose heaven is like Ironsides,
Whose tears are like rain,
Who eats but is not satisfied,
Who hears but does not see,
Who falls in love with wealth itself
And turns his back on me.

And who lies with ev'ry breath,
Who passionately hates his life
And likewise, fears his death."

"Change came in disguise
of revelation, set his soul on fire
She said she'd always knew he'd come around
And the decades disappear like sinking ships
that we persevere
God gives us hope
But we still fear
that we don't know"

[Happy birthday. May you live in a rich and fruitful life, and may there be nothing to cast dark shadows on it.]

"There was a flame burning in a small oil holder in front of the image, with a small round kneeling cushion on the ground. There was no fresh incense to be had, so I took a half-burned stick and re-lit it, then did the usual obeisance to Buddha, kneeling on the cushion, holding the incense stick between my hands and waving it up and down three times. A woman and a boy had accompanied me up to see what the foreigner would do, and I asked them if they were believers. The woman said no, but the boy surprisingly said yes."

Where've all the good people gone?
I've been changing channels but
I don't see them on the tv shows
Where've all the good people gone?
I haven't seen them but
I didn't really look for them
Where'd all the good people go?

[i can smell the vd in the club tonight]

"And so I've learned to retreat at the first sign of danger
I mean why wait around, if it's just to surrender
And ambition, I've found, can lead only to failure
I do not read the reviews
and no, I am not singing for you"

"Well the animals laugh from the dark of the wilderness
A baby cries hard in an apartment complex
As I pass in a car
Buried under the influence
The city's driving me out of my mind"

"I've seen a child he's caught in that sad trap of gravity
He falls from the lowest branch of the apple tree
And lands in the grass, and weeps for his dignity
Next time he will not aim so high
Yeah next time neither will I"

[如今踏上这归乡的路]

”时光一去不复返，留给我们的只有记忆“

[Learn from everyone. Follow no one. Watch for patterns. Work like hell.]

[photo by 文西 (Jasmin)]

"And I know that when she said she's gonna try
Well it might not work because of other ties and
I know she usually has some other ties
And I wouldn't want to break 'em, nah, I wouldn't want to break 'em
Maybe she'll help me to untie this but
Until then well, I'm gonna have to lie to you."

"Maybe the hurdle of writing is simply putting down the first sentence. After that-- it flows, it teems over, and the job is half done. I write for those moments when you don't have do so much laborious thinking and analyzing and dissecting, yet somehow naturally words fall into order, and there is a rhythm that keeps on. Do you know what I am speaking of?"

"She said she likes the kind that get excited about rainy days. The kind that get excited about sunny days."

"Milk thistle, milk thistle
Let me down slow
Just help me down slow
I've been hurryin' on
I was poised for greatness
I was down and out
I keep death at my heels
Like a basset hound
If i go to heaven
I'll be bored as hell
Like a crying baby
At the bottom of a well"

[i thought i told you]

"I am thinking now that at least, in writing you, I have somehow always found words (only in a matter of time now...). I am grateful for that, really...We all struggle to be understood, and I think telling our narratives is as important of a task--and as natural an impulse--as the very act of living it. Our haphazard meeting has somehow served towards that latter function, and I feel that you are as real and important to me as those whom I hold dearest."

"Will you miss me when I"m gone?", she asked every night.
Yes I said.
"We can't do a thing but wait, so let's not worry. We'll see again and when we'll see again,
we'll see again."
I agreed. I worried anyway, so did she.
I wondered, worried, I laughed, I was about to give up,
now her smell intrudes my mind, the bruises keep healing.
We once talked about things we'd give up the least in life,
she said
the love from other people towards her
I said
the love towards other people.
So I still have some more to give.
She took care of me, when I needed it.
I took care of her, but I'm not sure if it was enough.
She cried in my arms, she laughed at my side and smiled into my face.
-That's all?!"

"And I see that attraction could take on different shades too. I felt & feel-a great tenderness towards you. Like a soft wound. Almost as if I wish I could be sad with you, sick with you. Which is not usual for me since I am quite the cheery person when I am around others. And even when I am in silence and contemplation, I can hardly remember when I have felt terrible, gut-wrenchingly sad (okay, scratch that, I just remembered one. Breakups!). Most of the time it is like gray clouds...a bit depressing things...but they are somehow pleasurable too in their melancholy. I suppose I have been one lucky bastard."

[photo by 文西 (Jasmin)]

"Newspaper, newspaper
Can't take no more
You're here every morning
Waitin' at my door
And I'm just tryin' to kiss you
And you stab my eyes
Make me blue forever
Like an island sky
And I'm not pretending
That it's all okay
Just let me have my coffee
Before you take away the day."

"It would be amiss of me to slight the person to the process. I feel a certain attraction for you, it is true; probably I have felt it ever since that night I met you. It's something which is utterly inexplicable, that is not merely in the hollow vibration of words. They say that ninety percent of our interactions occur through nonverbal actions and tones--things which only our subconscious minds are subtle enough to detect and register. Could it be that which made me feel the way I do, towards someone on the street that I had only met? I am sure that I must have felt the same for others as well, yet only our particular relationship has evolved in the strange and wonderful way that it did."

'And when one day it's all over, I hope I'll be able
to remind myself to say out loud (or quiet at least),
"It was love, love, love!"'

"When I get depressed, I start to clean. Even if it's two or three in the morning. I wash the dishes, wipe down the stove, mop the floor, bleach the dishcloths, organise my desk drawers, iron every shirt in sight,' he said, stirring his drink with his finger. 'I do that till I'm exhausted, then I have a drink and go to sleep. In the morning I get up and by the time I'm putting on my socks I can't even remember what it was I was thinking about.'."

[photo by Mariana Münning]

"Please, oh please", he said
"DON"T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK!"

"Why do you kiss her?", she asked.
I laughed and didn't know what to say.
"If you kiss her, it'll be harder to leave her!"
I didn't really laugh at her, she didn't have a clue, obviously. I couldn't stop, though.
"I'm not leaving her, she's leaving me" and I felt quite a bit sad behind my big smile.

[With nothing much to do, we walked everywhere. ]

"Once you put your mind on it, there's nothing you can't get rid of. And once you start tossing things out, you find yourself wanting to get rid of everything. It's as if you'd gambled and away almost all your money and decided, What the hell, I'll bet what's left. Too much trouble to cling on the rest."

"Now the sky is a torn up denim and the clouds are just splattered paint
It’s a room I’m renovating; it’s a name I got to change
If I get out of here I’m going back to my home state
To tell them all that I made a mistake"

"And the pot turned to powder and soured the mood
And the people I'd come with were gone from the room
So I asked like a child, "May I be excused?"
And disobeyed them all"

"There ain't no reason things are this way
It's how they always been and it tends to stay
I can't explain why we live this way, we do it every day"

'As long as we don't get robbed or sick or something, we can spend two and a half years doing nothing. Barring the unforeseen, we should be able to get by. Still, it's always good to prepare for the unexpected.'

[everyone is an idiot when he is in love]

"We're at our worst when it's from our lips
From our lips we caused a rift,
And world has fallen in
From babble to ball room brawls
Our words have formed a death sentence
And I wish that we had never talked
Our hips said it all"

[I read with every broken heart we should become more adventurous]

”大家各有各的目的地，相聚只是一个偶然，然而由于目的地不同，又将各走各的路；即使是爱情也是这样，刚开始你们发现要去的都是一个方向，但后来却发现你们要下的站不同，你只能看着她的身影在人群中离开。“

[每一个人都有不同的方向，他们永不会完全一致.]

[落后]

"So I sleep with the fan on to drown out the street
And the noise rising up from the bar underneath
But for that inconvenience all my drinks are free
So I guess it's just as well

And I felt something changing the world
Like a new constitution
A thief I would have to pursue
At all times, at all costs, the truth "

[I'm at my worst when I'm at my best]

[sun is the same in a relative way but you're older]

"I hope you have not wholly forgotten me
(though that would be alright with me, as long as I still get to write you here and there).
It is comforting for me to think
of you in love
somewhere,
that you are so busy cuddling in bed
that you could hardly
drag yourself out to write me.
That is totally a proper excuse and one
I would be very happy to accept.
I know those days are hard to come by,
when the world shrinks to the magnetic distance
between two people and no more..."

"It was like a surprise attack on a lazy spring day - as if someone on top of a metaphysical hill, holding a metaphysical machine gun, had sprayed us with bullets. One minute we were changing our clothes, and the next minute they didn't fit any more: the sleeves were inside out, and we had one leg in one pair of trousers, the other in a different pair. A complete mess. But that's what death is. A rabbit is a rabbit whether it springs out of a hat or a wheat field. A hot oven is a hot oven, and the black smoke rising from a chimney is just that - black smoke rising from a chimney."

[i won't sleep if you won't sleep]

'What I'm trying to tell you is this,' she said more softly scratching an earlobe. It was a beautifully shaped earlobe. 'No matter what they wish for, no matter how far they go, people can never be anything but themselves. That's all.'

"Now my days are distractions, sit wringing my hands
Solitaire, crosswords and films on demand
When you turn from a cartoon back into a man
You start to smell that human smell"

[photo once more by left and leaving Jacob Arnold]

She said, "没有人可以让你难过除了自己。", and I agreed and silently promised to never let it come this far (again).

"Into that late-night latrine, rain soaking through my shoes
I tried walking backwards to get less confused
Working off the theory I could never prove
That it was life itself to blame

And time ruined the world
Like a failed revolution
A tumor we could not remove
An old friend, a constant, the blues"

I listened to a lecture of nonsense until dawn
By a plagiary poet with dark glasses on
He said, "How did you ever dream up that song
The one where the baby dies?"

I said, "I'll tell you the secret, which one's your good ear?
Yeah, people are made up of water and fear
If there weren't women present we wouldn't be here
So let's make like we're friends"

"Why do I envy the ending right from the start
Just get it together to take it apart
Watching the horse as it follows the cart
I sweep up my broken spell"

"But it's ashes Lord, it's ashes
soon we all fall down
You take your place among the saints,
make not a single sound
And on the hills that held our childhood
the flowers grow there still
You lay beneath them pushing weeds
and I guess you always will"

[love needs sleep]

"I'm adding something new to the mixture
so there's a different hue to your picture
A different ending to this fairy tale
with no sunset into which we sail"

[take it easy]

"Left by the lamp, right next to the bed,
on a cartoon cat pad she scratched with a pen,
"Everything is as it's always been.
This never happened.
Don't take it too bad it is nothing you did.
It's just once something dies you can't make it live.
You're a beautiful boy.
You're a sweet little kid but I am a woman."
So I laid back down and wrapped myself up in the sheet
And I must have looked like a ghost 'cause something frightened me
and since then I've been so good at vanishing"

"(And we'll always endeavor
Throughout any type of weather)

You want everything to be just like
The stories that you read but never write
You gotta learn to live and live and learn
You gotta learn to give and wait your turn
Or you'll get burned"

[玩儿够了]

"I walk like you guide me,
My eyes
are shut like I'm blind
Turn to you and listening and tryin'
To be in your mind

Welcome back to real life
The picture is gone
Put a contract out on things that go on and on
How do you stay where
You most want to be?"

"But when conducting business she would lie about where she’s from
Saying, "Life is how it is not how it was"

I learned to listen felt like I was back at school
She’d talk forever about the phases of the moon
Saying, "Everything is a cycle, you’ve got to let it come to you
And when it does, you will know what to do"
Without even knowing I guess I took her advice
It’s not that often but I think of her sometimes
Just something quaint, a couple ships in the night"

[lady with an ermine]

Like most pieces of art, there's a big discussion questioning wether or not it was Da Vinci really who painted it, x-rays revealing that parts have been painted over, suggesting a door in the background, a transparent veil or retouched hair, puns on the name and the animal, etc. Most likely it's been painted around 1482 to 1485 and the woman depicted is supposed to be Cecilia Gallerani, the mistress of Leonardo's patron Lodovico Sforza from Milan. The white ermine might be a symbol of purity, said to rather die than letting its white fur being flecked. It's one of Da Vinci's only three or four known portraits and supposed to be his earliest; art historians consider it as the "world’s first modern-age portrait ever painted". Great detail has been put on the outstretched hand such as tendons and wrinkles. The picture is displayed in Krakow, Poland.

[and never trust a heart that is so bent it cannot break]

half full (the glass)

"Been alone since you were twenty-one
You haven't laughed since January
You try and make like this is so much fun
But we know it to be quite contrary"

[photo taken by Jacob Arnold]

"So I laid some nights beside her in a bed made for a queen
She said I kissed her different, that all the men her age were mean
Gave me anything I wanted,
Oh the generosity
I took all that I could, it was free"

"And I keep looking for that blindfold faith
Lighting candles to a cynical saint
Who wants the last laugh at the fly trapped in the windowsill tape
You can go right out of your mind trying to escape
From the panicked paradox of day to day
If you can’t understand something then it’s best to be afraid"

"Cause everything - it must belong somewhere
Oh a train off in the distance, bicycle chained to the stairs
Everything - it must belong somewhere
I know that now, that's why I'm staying here"

"We went on vacation last night
Under a sun of neon light
And I almost love this town
When I'm by your side

You woke me from a long sleep
And I'm almost back
Closer than ever
To finding the hidden track

If I told you the truth
You wouldn't like what I said

I almost believed I was dead
There'll be no more waiting
You're gonna melt all the ice
In my head
There'll be no more crying
You're gonna make it all better instead"

[love nothing]

"Now I do as I please and lie through my teeth
Someone might get hurt, but it won't be me
I should probably feel cheap but I just feel free...
and a little bit empty
No, it isn't so hard to get close to me
There will be no arguments
We will always agree
And I'll try and be kind when I ask you to leave
We'll both take it easy

But if you stay too long inside my memory,
I will trap you in a song tied to a melody
and I will keep you there so you can't bother me"

"Here it comes!
Here comes the first day!
It starts up in our bedroom after the war"

"There's a feeling that I get
When I look to the west
'Bout having all the answers
Still failing the test"

[clouds parting (2009/03/03 7:22 a.m.)]

[it's cloudy and so is my head (2007/09/30)]

[it wasn't meant to be]

"and i realized for the first time
how lucky i've been to have known her
and to have been in love with her"

half empty. (the glass)

[bumpers are made for denting!]

"三月有个晴天的早晨　你不再问
等着等着　我在哼着歌
是你教我唱的"

[it takes longer than you expect to get over things.]

[some thing someone learned in life]